If you haven't already figured this out I am a sporadic blogger. I'd like to say that it's because I lead such a busy, satisfying life but really I just get so bored of my own internal monologue that I can't bare to commit it to 'paper.' In fact, I've only made it this far by temporarily replacing my own internalised Hampshire-burr with John Candy's (RIP) flustered voice. Somehow my own opinion is a lot more interesting when it sounds like it's coming from Uncle Buck.
Anyway. I love lists. So here are some:
Top Five Albums Of 2010 (In No Particular Order)
1) Liars - Sisterworld
A horrible sinewy mess. If there was a Hollywood remake of 'Eraserhead' this would be the soundtrack. The only accurate comparison I can make is the sound of thousands of tiny aluminium spiders crawling over broken guitars and straight into the mouth and eyes of a weeping claustrophobic mental patient. Basically - it manages to be creepy, punky and noisy and is very fucking good.
2) Les Savy Fav - Root For Ruin
Les Savy Fav is your first sip of cider in summer. Les Savy Fav is stumbling already drunk into a chalet party at ATP. Les Savy Fav is what punk rock would have sounded like if it hadn't got old and fat. Les Savy Fav is a million issues of the NME burning. Les Savy Fav is hanging out with your best friends. Les Savy Fav is listening to love songs and thinking of your girlfriend and then laughing about it after you break up. Les Savy Fav is the party and so is this album.
3) No Age - Everything In Between
If I had to sum this album up in one syllable, which i don't, it would be "BZZ" but each letter would be in a different font and if you look really closely is actually made up of pictures of people dancing. No Age write songs now? And they're GOOD?! Get out.
4) Grinderman - Grinderman 2
Nick Cave is the hoary, sex obsessed poet that every teenage boy wishes he will grow up to be (if only she'd listen to his mixtape!). Grinderman is to music what a key swapping party is to adventurous couples in their fifties. Put these two elements together and you have the filthiest sounding rock and roll album of the year.
5) Errors - Come Down With Me
Why don't Errors play in huge dance clubs with hundreds of people pilled off their tits going completely nuts? Oh yeah...because of their tendancy towards ruining an awesome groove with angular riffs from the Steve Albini songbook. Dancable and clever and severely underrated. Bonus points for naming their remix album 'Celebrity Come Down With Me.'
Honourable mentions to: Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest and Deftones - Diamond Eyes. You were good, not great.
Top Five Live Shows Of 2010
1) Boredoms perform 9 Drummer Boardrum @ ATP, May
A holiday camp ballroom. Midday. Eight drummers onstage, tapping out perfectly synchronised tribal rhythms. Zach Hill gets carried in through a fire exit, on a platform, already playing. Eye is hitting a bank of guitars with a big metal pole and hammering (literally) a sampler. It sounds pretentious but it was completely euphoric. The best band in Japan? Well, I like 'em.
2) Godspeed You! Black Emperor @ The Troxy, London, December
Film soundtrack blah blah, transcendental blah blah, art blah blah crescendo wah wah wah. Everything that has been written about this band in the past is somehow both pretentious bullshit and completely true. The indisputable fact however, is that Godspeed are fucking loud and gave me goosebumps. Brilliant.
3) Grizzly Bear @ The Roundhouse, London, March
Not just because they were a gentle hug on the evening I turned twenty six, but I was also stood next to David 'Tobias' Cross for the whole set. Wonderful.
4) Monotonix @ End Of The Road Festival, September
One part sludge rock band, one part dance party, ten parts spectator sport. A description can't do it justice. Sweaty, boozy, noisy fun.
5) Iggy And The Stooges perform 'Raw Power' @ ATP, May and Sonisphere Festival, July.
Oh yeah, you're in a band, that's cool. And you have a singer who's a great frontman eh? Dances around a bit? Sings a few songs? Gets in the audiences faces? Plays some abrasive punk rock? Fuck off junior. Iggy did it better forty years ago and still makes your shitty band look weak today.
Honourable mentions - Holy Fuck at Reading, the only band that made an otherwise terrible afternoon bearable. Ozzy Osbourne at the Roundhouse, you're old but you still play Sabbath, so you're ok. Alice In Chains at Sonisphere. Brilliant.
Top Five Annoying Musical Trends Of 2010 (and every fucking awful year before it)
1) Hardcore band t-shirts consisting of an unrelated black and white photo, with the band name in times new roman above it.
2) Bad indie moustaches. Just because Yeasayer do it doesn't make it ok to garnish your upper lip with a light dusting of pre-pubescent wisp. In fact, Yeasayer doing it should be enough to make you want to eschew any kind of feeble facial hair experimentation altogether in favour of not looking an absolute cunt.
3) Weezer continuing to release albums which aren't Blue or Pinkerton (with the exception of the Pinkerton re-release).
4) Songs I love being used in adverts. Eg. Man Man in Tony Hawks Skateboarding Whatever and Chromeo in VO5. Where did all the jingles go?!
5) The unstoppable rise of dubstep - waahp waahp waaaahhhpppp. There aren't enough drugs in the world to make me want to listen to this shit at any volume. I will add a sub-rant to this and say that punk / hardcore / fashion bands having a dubstep intro is equally irritating.
Special mention to - YOUR SHITTY DIGITAL CAMERA. YOU'RE AT THE BACK OF A CROWD. THE PHOTO WILL BE CRAP. GET IT OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE.
Top Five Things That Pissed Me Off At Festivals This Year
1) White sunglasses.
2) Iron Maiden t-shirts. You're fifteen. We can all get on Ebay and search 'Iron Maiden Vintage Tour Shirt OMG Mega Rarezzz!.' You're a dick (and they were crap).
3) Poor soundsystems. Turn it up.
4) Bands not playing the hits. It's 11am, just play your single and fuck off.
5) Other people.
Special mention - I didn't kill anyone yet. That's a good sign right?
Top Five Shitty Musical Losses of 2010
1) Jay Reatard - a lot more people seemed sad about his death than bought his albums which is a shame because they were nasty fuzzy garage pop. Instead of retweeting his Guardian obituary I would have liked to have seen more people listening to his awesome music but hey, me being a snob isn't going to give anyone better taste is it?
2) Dio - I don't think this needs any further justification.
3) Isis - however, bets on now for a reformation and curating ATP's Nightmare Before Christmas 2012.
4) Captain Beefheart - one of my most confusing memories of childhood is coming downstairs late at night to find my parents drinking wine and listening to Frank Zappa's 'Hot Rats.' Hearing 'Willie The Pimp' for the first time AND realising that maybe they were pretty cool people with outstanding music taste was a total life changer. Definitely paved the way for my discovery of weirder music.
5) Dio - again. Because I chose watching Coheed and Cambria in the dry instead of Heaven And Hell in the rain at Sonisphere 2009 and have never forgiven myself for it.
Hopefully 2011 will be a better year. DOUBT IT. I tried to make a top five of things I'm looking forward to but could only manage one - Black Sabbath reunion (FINGERS CROSSED).
Monday 20 December 2010
Monday 13 September 2010
End Of The Road Festival, September 9th - 12th 2010
A bit of background and getting the negative out of the way first (because normally it's my focus anyway) - I am sick of festivals. At 26 I've spent far too much of my life stood in a muddy field, surrounded by idiots in wacky costumes (or worse: obligatory festival hat) waiting to see my favourite bands play way too quietly for half an hour to no applause. I'm sick of the smell of greasy burgers and trying to sleep with the sound of a rickety 'fun'-fair run by terrifying carnies. In short I'm sick of a lack of regard for the most important thing about the whole experience: the music. I'm not wanting to come off as a buzzkill - I'm all for partying but if you want to act like a massive prick while I'm trying to watch Chrome Hoof or the Stooges you can fuck off.
...All of which is why I approached End Of The Road, my final festival of this year, with a certain level of apprehension. My festival experience has been bearable at best (with the exception of the always-fantastic All Tomorrows Parties) so while the lineup promised an awesome weekend, it was hard to believe that I was letting myself in for something special. On arriving it became clear that being such a cynical prick doesn't always pay off. It has the feel of a village fete, staff are friendly and the gardens themselves are lovely. The crowd is varied but give the impression of being there purely for love of the music which is refreshing and most importantly - Aspall Cyder is on tap which was highly conductive in getting me very drunk, very early.
Anyway. The festival.
Friday
(Car playlist: Three Trapped Tigers, Cave In - Planets Of Old EP and Les Savy Fav - Root For Ruin)
First massive festival fail - as Andy (my cider-partner for the weekend) and I unpack the tent it becomes obvious that I've forgotten something essential - a sleeping bag. Luckily as an experienced wilderness man (ha) I have enough clothes to make a rudimentary nest so can look forward to sleeping like a rat for the two nights we're staying.
Kicking off the weekend musically for me is Australian bluesman CW Stoneking on the Garden Stage. The sun is shining, we're sat in an actual garden, cider in hand and his 1920s style jazz tinged blues goes down a treat. The band is tight, soulful and wouldn't sound out of place on the 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou' soundtrack. Several ciders and a bit of exploring later and we're back at the garden stage for Freelance Whales - I've never heard them before but judging by their name I'll like them (pointless aside - I usually enjoy a band with a mammalian name eg. Minus The Bear, Deerhoof, uhh...Snoop Dogg?). The gamble only half pays off - their Belle and Sebastian meets The Postal Service indie pop is enjoyable enough but a little charmless. Following them are the Mountain Goats whose folksy twanging fails to hold my attention. Several more ciders (a theme is becoming apparent here) and it's time for Cymbals Eat Guitars in the big top. I know it's shallow but I was a little put off by their terrible album art (seriously), however they prove themselves to be the band of the day by a long way. In some places they bring to mind classic 90s indie rock like Pavement or Built To Spill and in others it's closer to the epic pomp of the Arcade Fire. They're enthusiastic, tight and crucially, loud enough to clear the cobwebs of booze and tiredness. Excellent. We have some food, meet some old friends and then back to the Garden Stage for Modest Mouse. They're a band that I have a long track record of loving (enough to have their artwork permanently scrawled on my arm) so this should have been a highlight. The set has a strong start with massive crowd pleasers like 'Dashboard' thrown out early but by the time 'Bury Me With It' starts, I'm too drunk to want anything but sleep. As I drift off I can just about hear the New Pornographers but even the prospect of uplifting pop isn't enough to motivate me back out.
Saturday
(Top three End Of The Road hangover cures - 1. Cheese straws from the campsite bakery 2. The bracing Dorset breeze 3. More cider)
Saturday comes and Andy and I are both feeling a little fragile so to avoid becoming too institutionalised we take a seriously uneventful trip to Shaftesbury. And I mean SERIOUSLY uneventful, the highlight is seeing the cobbled street from the Hovis advert.
The first musical thrill of the day comes from an unlikely source. It's uplifting, positive and at times brings tears to my eyes. Yes. Anvil! The Story Of Anvil is on in the Little White Lies cinema tent and it's wonderful. Completely wonderful. We emerge blinking in to the daylight better people, our friendships confirmed by heavy metal. We head to the Garden Stage and Phosphorescent have already started their set of country tinged indie, it's a little too gentle after the cinematic onslaught (seriously - if you haven't heard the proto-thrash anthem 'Metal On Metal' I dare you to listen to it without a grin) so more cider seems appropriate. We manage to catch Canadian five piece the Wilderness Of Manitoba who play some haunting campfire folk before my personal highlight of day two - Israel's Monotonix. Musically they play the kind of sludgy punk that brings to mind early Melvins but as a live band is where they really shine. The set starts and they're at the front of the stage. I can't see any of them. Suddenly a snare drum lands by my feet, the crowd opens and they're setting up for the next song...in the middle of the tent. It's a glorious mix of Lightning Bolt and an olympic crowdsurfing competition. Thirty intense minutes later, crowd and band are back out in the sunshine and it's over. It's a short dash to the Local stage to catch a majority of Three Trapped Tigers set and they continue the high standard set by Monotonix, coming somewhere between 65daysofstatic and Battles it's an electro-math-whatever freakout. Dancey without becoming repetitive but techy enough to keep those missing John Stanier happy. I'd rather see them in a club in the middle of the night but it's still an awesome show and they're definitely in my top three of the weekend. Iron & Wine on the Garden stage later is a bit disappointing. I'm a big fan of Sam Beam's records but strangely tonight the show lacks the intimacy that makes his performances so interesting so we wonder into the fairy-light illuminated woodland. It proves an excellent choice as we stumble across Moddi playing some Norwegian folk songs and then some of his own at a small stage decorated like a Victorian sitting room. It's these kind of stripped down, impromptu performances that make End Of The Road so special and we walk away feeling like we've shared something secret with only a handful of others. It was a tough call whether to watch Yo La Tengo or Black Mountain but knowing the formers tendency towards extended jams and psychedelic improvisation, classic rock won. Black Mountain take the best bits of Led Zepplin (the riffs) and combine them with the best bits of Fleetwood Mac (the vocals) making something that's at once both incredibly heavy and spacey. 'Stormy High' makes me want to bang my head and the songs from new album 'Wilderness Heart' sound massive. After that Caribou just isn't what I'm in the mood for so I retire to the tent. Only to be tempted back out after hearing Jarvis Cocker's excellent DJ set - The Cramps! Motorhead! Brilliant! A few ciders later and I'm back up, stumbling into a lit dancefloor in the woodlands, taking in the inspiring sight of a hundred music nerds bumping and grinding to Shaggy, sipping whiskey from a hipflask and talking rubbish with strangers. I'm not sure what comes after this...
Sunday
(Driving home car playlist: The Jesus Lizard - Liar, Butthole Surfers - Electriclarryland and Sonic Youth - The Eternal)
All I know is that I wake up SO COLD. IT'S SO COLD. WHERE IS MY SLEEPING BAG?! WHY DIDN'T I BRING IT?! I've placed watching bands below achieving a normal body temperature and maintaining blood flow in my daily priorities so don't manage as much. First band we catch is the Antlers, musically they remind me of Sigur Ros but vocally a lot more folky, the harmonies are pure Justin Vernon and it's a lovely combination. Manage to catch a bit of Django Django and frankly, it sounds to me like a rubbish hippy jam session. Yuck are next and are a band who have been on the receiving end of a lot of superlative words from the hype machine recently so I approached them with a degree of cynicism. I have to be honest - they're actually really good. Combining the lush feedback drenched soundscapes of My Bloody Valentine with more conventional indie rock makes for just the right mix of noisy and catchy. Like Three Trapped Tigers yesterday - in a years time these guys will be huge. Errors follow and as much as I've enjoyed them in the past, I'm not totally convinced that they're ready for a stage this big - the sound is massive, the bass is making my sternum hurt but they just don't seem to have the same connection as in a sweaty club. Having said that, the triple whammy of 'Mr Milk,' 'A Rumor In Africa' and 'Pump' gets a few more throwing shapes at the front so give it time and I'm sure that good things will follow. By now I'm seriously burned out and in need of one last blast of energy - Pulled Apart By Horses have also been pretty heavily hyped over the past couple of months and their show makes it clear why. "This is a beautiful festival...we're here to fuck it up" - thirty minutes of buzzsaw pop, grunge fuzz and youthful abandon make the perfect end to an otherwise very chilled out weekend. I really can't say enough good words about End Of The Road - on the whole an excellent antidote to the soulless Carling-sponsored-boring-headliner-Soni-bullshit and I'll definately be back next year. Good work.
End Of The Road Official Site
...All of which is why I approached End Of The Road, my final festival of this year, with a certain level of apprehension. My festival experience has been bearable at best (with the exception of the always-fantastic All Tomorrows Parties) so while the lineup promised an awesome weekend, it was hard to believe that I was letting myself in for something special. On arriving it became clear that being such a cynical prick doesn't always pay off. It has the feel of a village fete, staff are friendly and the gardens themselves are lovely. The crowd is varied but give the impression of being there purely for love of the music which is refreshing and most importantly - Aspall Cyder is on tap which was highly conductive in getting me very drunk, very early.
Anyway. The festival.
Friday
(Car playlist: Three Trapped Tigers, Cave In - Planets Of Old EP and Les Savy Fav - Root For Ruin)
First massive festival fail - as Andy (my cider-partner for the weekend) and I unpack the tent it becomes obvious that I've forgotten something essential - a sleeping bag. Luckily as an experienced wilderness man (ha) I have enough clothes to make a rudimentary nest so can look forward to sleeping like a rat for the two nights we're staying.
Kicking off the weekend musically for me is Australian bluesman CW Stoneking on the Garden Stage. The sun is shining, we're sat in an actual garden, cider in hand and his 1920s style jazz tinged blues goes down a treat. The band is tight, soulful and wouldn't sound out of place on the 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou' soundtrack. Several ciders and a bit of exploring later and we're back at the garden stage for Freelance Whales - I've never heard them before but judging by their name I'll like them (pointless aside - I usually enjoy a band with a mammalian name eg. Minus The Bear, Deerhoof, uhh...Snoop Dogg?). The gamble only half pays off - their Belle and Sebastian meets The Postal Service indie pop is enjoyable enough but a little charmless. Following them are the Mountain Goats whose folksy twanging fails to hold my attention. Several more ciders (a theme is becoming apparent here) and it's time for Cymbals Eat Guitars in the big top. I know it's shallow but I was a little put off by their terrible album art (seriously), however they prove themselves to be the band of the day by a long way. In some places they bring to mind classic 90s indie rock like Pavement or Built To Spill and in others it's closer to the epic pomp of the Arcade Fire. They're enthusiastic, tight and crucially, loud enough to clear the cobwebs of booze and tiredness. Excellent. We have some food, meet some old friends and then back to the Garden Stage for Modest Mouse. They're a band that I have a long track record of loving (enough to have their artwork permanently scrawled on my arm) so this should have been a highlight. The set has a strong start with massive crowd pleasers like 'Dashboard' thrown out early but by the time 'Bury Me With It' starts, I'm too drunk to want anything but sleep. As I drift off I can just about hear the New Pornographers but even the prospect of uplifting pop isn't enough to motivate me back out.
Saturday
(Top three End Of The Road hangover cures - 1. Cheese straws from the campsite bakery 2. The bracing Dorset breeze 3. More cider)
Saturday comes and Andy and I are both feeling a little fragile so to avoid becoming too institutionalised we take a seriously uneventful trip to Shaftesbury. And I mean SERIOUSLY uneventful, the highlight is seeing the cobbled street from the Hovis advert.
The first musical thrill of the day comes from an unlikely source. It's uplifting, positive and at times brings tears to my eyes. Yes. Anvil! The Story Of Anvil is on in the Little White Lies cinema tent and it's wonderful. Completely wonderful. We emerge blinking in to the daylight better people, our friendships confirmed by heavy metal. We head to the Garden Stage and Phosphorescent have already started their set of country tinged indie, it's a little too gentle after the cinematic onslaught (seriously - if you haven't heard the proto-thrash anthem 'Metal On Metal' I dare you to listen to it without a grin) so more cider seems appropriate. We manage to catch Canadian five piece the Wilderness Of Manitoba who play some haunting campfire folk before my personal highlight of day two - Israel's Monotonix. Musically they play the kind of sludgy punk that brings to mind early Melvins but as a live band is where they really shine. The set starts and they're at the front of the stage. I can't see any of them. Suddenly a snare drum lands by my feet, the crowd opens and they're setting up for the next song...in the middle of the tent. It's a glorious mix of Lightning Bolt and an olympic crowdsurfing competition. Thirty intense minutes later, crowd and band are back out in the sunshine and it's over. It's a short dash to the Local stage to catch a majority of Three Trapped Tigers set and they continue the high standard set by Monotonix, coming somewhere between 65daysofstatic and Battles it's an electro-math-whatever freakout. Dancey without becoming repetitive but techy enough to keep those missing John Stanier happy. I'd rather see them in a club in the middle of the night but it's still an awesome show and they're definitely in my top three of the weekend. Iron & Wine on the Garden stage later is a bit disappointing. I'm a big fan of Sam Beam's records but strangely tonight the show lacks the intimacy that makes his performances so interesting so we wonder into the fairy-light illuminated woodland. It proves an excellent choice as we stumble across Moddi playing some Norwegian folk songs and then some of his own at a small stage decorated like a Victorian sitting room. It's these kind of stripped down, impromptu performances that make End Of The Road so special and we walk away feeling like we've shared something secret with only a handful of others. It was a tough call whether to watch Yo La Tengo or Black Mountain but knowing the formers tendency towards extended jams and psychedelic improvisation, classic rock won. Black Mountain take the best bits of Led Zepplin (the riffs) and combine them with the best bits of Fleetwood Mac (the vocals) making something that's at once both incredibly heavy and spacey. 'Stormy High' makes me want to bang my head and the songs from new album 'Wilderness Heart' sound massive. After that Caribou just isn't what I'm in the mood for so I retire to the tent. Only to be tempted back out after hearing Jarvis Cocker's excellent DJ set - The Cramps! Motorhead! Brilliant! A few ciders later and I'm back up, stumbling into a lit dancefloor in the woodlands, taking in the inspiring sight of a hundred music nerds bumping and grinding to Shaggy, sipping whiskey from a hipflask and talking rubbish with strangers. I'm not sure what comes after this...
Sunday
(Driving home car playlist: The Jesus Lizard - Liar, Butthole Surfers - Electriclarryland and Sonic Youth - The Eternal)
All I know is that I wake up SO COLD. IT'S SO COLD. WHERE IS MY SLEEPING BAG?! WHY DIDN'T I BRING IT?! I've placed watching bands below achieving a normal body temperature and maintaining blood flow in my daily priorities so don't manage as much. First band we catch is the Antlers, musically they remind me of Sigur Ros but vocally a lot more folky, the harmonies are pure Justin Vernon and it's a lovely combination. Manage to catch a bit of Django Django and frankly, it sounds to me like a rubbish hippy jam session. Yuck are next and are a band who have been on the receiving end of a lot of superlative words from the hype machine recently so I approached them with a degree of cynicism. I have to be honest - they're actually really good. Combining the lush feedback drenched soundscapes of My Bloody Valentine with more conventional indie rock makes for just the right mix of noisy and catchy. Like Three Trapped Tigers yesterday - in a years time these guys will be huge. Errors follow and as much as I've enjoyed them in the past, I'm not totally convinced that they're ready for a stage this big - the sound is massive, the bass is making my sternum hurt but they just don't seem to have the same connection as in a sweaty club. Having said that, the triple whammy of 'Mr Milk,' 'A Rumor In Africa' and 'Pump' gets a few more throwing shapes at the front so give it time and I'm sure that good things will follow. By now I'm seriously burned out and in need of one last blast of energy - Pulled Apart By Horses have also been pretty heavily hyped over the past couple of months and their show makes it clear why. "This is a beautiful festival...we're here to fuck it up" - thirty minutes of buzzsaw pop, grunge fuzz and youthful abandon make the perfect end to an otherwise very chilled out weekend. I really can't say enough good words about End Of The Road - on the whole an excellent antidote to the soulless Carling-sponsored-boring-headliner-Soni-bullshit and I'll definately be back next year. Good work.
End Of The Road Official Site
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